“I just wish I could find a business partner to handle the whole money side of things so I can focus on my passion, helping people.”
“I am going to hire someone to do my sales and marketing because my personality type isn’t good at that stuff.”
“I’ve got too much Feminine energy to be doing these Masculine energy parts of my business…”
How many times have I heard women entrepreneurs uttering these sentences over the years? And how many times have I entertained these ideas for myself?
So many women who are just starting out in business are thinking some version of, “I just wish I could have someone do that hard/boring part for me.” (Which is usually only optimal for a later stage business – more on that later).
I call this “White Knight syndrome,” because it’s as though they want a White Knight to ride in on his White horse and rescue them from having to go through the birth canal of truly braving it as an entrepreneur.
This is problematic for SO MANY REASONS, but here are a few big ones.
1) The role it puts these women in is “Damsel In Distress,” which is simply not the archetype of a successful business owner. The energy that needs to be embodied is “Badass Warrior” or “Magical Manifesting Priestess,” and the transformation into this version of ourselves IS the evolutionary journey of entrepreneurship. We need to experience the birth process and that involves some labor. The frustrations, struggles and massive amounts of discomfort are priceless learning opportunities. If we outsource this, we stay the same, and we will not expand our capacity to receive. And anyway, this imaginary White Knight doesn’t exist (see #2), so we may get stuck in a holding pattern and never truly live our purpose.
2) Our soul business is like a snowflake. No one has ever done it like we will, because it is birthed from the depths of our hearts. Only we know exactly how to make it work. Even if we imitate someone who appears to be succeeding at the exact same game, it will not be the same for us, because of the subtle component that is particularly present for those who identify primarily with Feminine Energy and want to attract those clients.
I have days and days of ridiculous stories from my Vedic Astrology practice about implementing proven marketing strategies that would never work for me, and fly-in-the-face-of-marketing-wisdom things that consistently attract people to me. I have spent *thousands* of dollars over the years, trying to get experts to tell me how to do it, and not one of those dollars translated into a client.
It is so incredibly tempting, when we feel lost, overwhelmed and scared, to reach for an authoritative Masculine person to tell us what to do or actually do things for us. This is the Shadow Feminine at work. But we are simply outsourcing our confidence and wisdom. Of course we absolutely need coaches and mentors, but these people will inadvertently lead us astray if:
a) we don’t hire them from a sense of deep alignment in our hearts and do it from fear or scarcity instead or
b) they are not consistently advising us to check in with our hearts to find our deepest truth and operate from that place, and are instead telling us what they know will work for us. (Spoiler alert – hiring this person can be a very expensive mistake!)
At the end of the day, we know best, and it’s just a matter of trusting ourselves, being willing to “fail” and learn and iterate, and using our inner guidance to choose which outside information to welcome in.
3) Once we’ve gotten things working to a certain point in our business, where we understand how it all works and what’s really involved, delegation is wonderful. We can focus on our zone of genius. But if we don’t learn about all these pieces ourselves, we risk becoming completely dependent on our partner/staff etc. What if they need to leave us? What happens then? If we don’t at least understand all parts of our business, it’s ultimately disempowering.
In reality, running a business completely in our feminine isn’t actually ideal (and the inverse is true too!) We need to balance our masculine and feminine energies inside because both are needed.
A friend of mine once suggested having weekly meetings with my inner masculine to plan out the week and give it structure so my inner feminine could have more space to play. I find this practice very helpful and highly recommend it to anyone who feels any resistance being in their masculine energy.
I hope that this is useful for any budding female or feminine-energy-dominant entrepreneurs! We are truly the ones we’ve been waiting for.